I'm not really going to bother logging workout data for this day. I had some pretty big realizations today about what has been going on with long runs not going well, and what I need to do to fix it. When I arrived and turned on my Garmin, the database was full and it kept immediately switching itself off. Apparently, the only way I could remedy this was to hook it to the computer, because the unit would not stay on long enough for me to select the menu option to do so. (not even with the Garmin reset trick) Argh. I had no other timing device and no way to know my distance. I do know the lost pines trail and their makers on that trail are also marked, but the spokes I had no clue. Diana had mapped out the distances when she figured out our loop and showed them to me, but I did not have a really accurate sense of where I was in this new territory until I reached near the end I knew this had to be (about mile 4) heh.
The weather was a mixed blessing today. It was considerably cooler than it had been because we had *finally* gotten some much needed rain. The ground was actually still quite damp, but with this lovely coolness came humidity that you could very nearly cut in the air. This also had made the mold count go up significantly and I woke up with lots of snot this morning. My stomach did not feel very good this morning, but it had no reason to be acting up. I had not done anything I have not been doing with successful pre-long running day nutrition before. Allergies were horrible and I felt absolutely awful this morning from those. I felt so awfully, in fact, that I really considered simply not going. I had everything ready to go and I decided that I needed to show up and give myself time to possibly shake this off. I have felt bad and ended up having a spectacular run more than once before, so I thought this deserved a chance.
The workout today got off to a rough start, and it spiraled horribly downward from there for most of the time. Today I would run the spokes for the first time, and I really liked this side of the park. It has some nice hills, and it was quite gorgeous. I had the treat of seeing two beautiful road runners very close up hunting for food in the pine tree bark there. I was having lots of breathing issues during this section, there was just no way I could get air through any other airway but my mouth, my head was totally clogged and swollen. It was so humid, I felt like I should have had gills! I was sweating like nobody's business and I knew it would be important to stay on top of hydration and salt for this run. That is one thing I did very well on this run. About mile 4 I'd say, my GI was bothering me and I had to make a stop. Oh Crap, I thought (and I snickered) but I really hoped that was not going to set the tone for this run.
After maybe about mile 6, my stomach started to get really really bad. I started to cramp so badly that I wasn't sure I could run anymore. I volleyed back and forth with this feeling, sometimes being able to run, but never for long and mostly just walking it in to the truck. This hilly 9 miles took me damn near 3 hours with the gi issues and related walking. Yes, you heard that right. I was absolutely shocked...good lord! I have never in my life taken that long to run such a short distance. I could understand if I was in some new elevation or something, or it was like HUGE climbs, but this...was ..ridiculous! It was incredibly hot feeling to me, even though the temp wasn't that high. Man I am not used to that level of humidity and it was kicking my butt!
I made a trip to the park bathroom in my truck before going out for a another loop, this time the 8 mile lost pines loop. It was hard to go back out, but I was determined and I did feel MUCH better after my pit stop. The first few miles were extremely hard. No matter what I tried, I simply could
not stay running. It was not only that I felt physically exhausted and awful, it was that I did not even have the will to run. I did not
want to run. This is not normal or right for me. I ended up getting to a bench and I let myself lie down on it for about 1 minute, and I felt like an entirely new person briefly. I felt better for the next mile or so, but then something unpleasant happened.
I thought for sure the 70oz of water would get me through this loop, but the with increasing temperature and humidity
not decreasing, I was sweating a lot and needing to drink more water. I ran out of water half way through this loop. Not. Good. There is absolutely nowhere to stop for water until you get basically back to about where the cars were. Not only was I out of water, but I desperately needed to take more nutrition, which requires water. You do not want to take a gel or perpetuem paste w/o water. It's ugly, and it usually will make you sick. Hooooboy. I decided at this point that I should stop running and basically speed walk this in. I could still get somewhat of a workout, get back fairly quickly and hopefully not feel the need for quite as much water as when I am running. Luckily after just over 2 miles of walking with about 1 mile or so left, Diana had run out toward me and she had extra water and gave me one of her bottles. GODS I was thirsty, I had even stopped sweating, which was a little concerning.
This section was almost like an epiphany for me. The further I walked here at a good pace I felt better. This is not what I was scheduled to do, this was a run, but this, somehow really felt like what I
needed and I felt better doing this than I had felt in a couple of weeks. I was enjoying the trail and feeling good, this was how I remembered long run day being out here. (only I wasn't running.) My stomach was definitely back on board, but I had now gotten behind on food & drink and my inner wisdom just said, "this is done. go home. rest." As I started to feel better, I started to feel a lot clearer mentally about what I felt was going on with how tough the long runs were going for me. There were undeniable physical things going on with me, but it was the mental part of this that was really playing the biggest role, I think. I have been under a lot of stress, not sleeping the best and I have also just run myself into the ground. I started out this year with a big injury and that derailed two major races for me that were really pivotal distances and training I needed to do to feel good about attempting the big race in Bandera this year (which I also reminded myself I did NOT sign up for, but won in a lottery sort of thing). This put me at least 5-6 months behind where I really needed to be in terms of fitness, experience and other factors. I thought I could catch up, and I'm not saying it is out of the realm of possibility, but i have not given myself any real and significant time off of running since January. I have busted my butt pretty much constantly, but I did get quite a few GOOD runs under my bet. I have gained a lot of strength and come a long way, but now my body is asking for something different. I am run into the ground both physically and mentally, and if I don't reel this in, it's going to have many negative effects. Really, it already has. I can no longer continue training feeling like this.
I realized that the thing I normally stay the most excited about and plan my life around, is now something that I cannot say I have felt good doing or enjoyed for a while on long run days. Yes, I even enjoyed the struggles before, because after those came the incredible feeling of accomplishment and amazement I had been able to do something so hard for me and break into new territory. I have even almost dreaded running at times recently. My body has felt like hell and my mind is not really on board any more. Endurance sports are at least 99% mental, and if your head is not in the game, it is not going to happen. That is just what was going on with me. I simply don't have the push in me to keep going right now. I feel more worn out physically and mentally than I have felt since I started running and it's time for a break. So I am taking one. I really feel and somehow know this is what I need to do. My body needs to heal and rejuvenate, and so does my mind. So, I am not working out for a week. I am giving my entire self a break. I will stretch daily, and do work with my Trigger Point Kit. These are also things I have gotten out of the habit of and been neglecting that have had a major impact, and that will have to change.
I will start running again one week from Monday, and then see how it goes from there. I need to feel happy about running again, to enjoy and feel good doing it. If that means I have to change my plans about events, distance goals or anything else, so be it. This has been a journey of immense lessons for me, and this might be a good lesson about being adaptable, and also accepting when you need to sit down and fine-tune some plans.
The only way I am going to get any better than this is to stay healthy & whole..and that means body, mind & spirit for me. I have also decided to take on a new nutrition plan that I think will make way more sense for me. My body's pH level is normally nice from the type of diet that I eat, and I think that all of these gels and other refined sugar products are making my body's pH too acidic and wreaking havoc on my system. There are better ways, and I plan to use my next several long runs experimenting with new natural types of foods and supplements that I think make better nutritional sense for me, and for long trail running in general.
I am prepared for a week of good stretching, bodywork and some yoga. It's time to rest & renew and rekindle the fire inside that I seem to have lost in my running. I think this time will have me coming back strong and ready for the challenge once again.